i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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