found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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