i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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