I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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