that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
