Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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