Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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