this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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