Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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