We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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