ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Someone shattered a urinal.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Houston, we have a blender
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
