I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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