Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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