You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
