Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
