Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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