I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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