so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
