In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
