she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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