He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
