Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize