I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
