We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
