i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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