Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
As shirtless as possible
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
