life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
