The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Watching her eat just hurts me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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