I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
