I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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