I look better un-naked...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I want is dick and wine.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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