your thong is hanging out like whoa
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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