You're so nebulous sometimes
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She's not a foreskin expert like you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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