It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize