You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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