My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize