I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
