I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
