I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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