Betty ford says i'm here all night
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
