please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
