apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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