she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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