I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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