Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize