Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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