Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
