Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
