I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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