do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
