im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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