big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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