I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
