I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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