Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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