I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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