he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
