all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
